Wednesday, June 03, 2009

A Chapter Read and Closed

It's been almost 10 months since Ryan (Kyle) died. The sharpness of the pain has faded, and that hurts also. It's like we're no longer feeling his death like we used to, and that brings about feelings of guilt. Last night we were eating dinner and the phone rang. Someone asked for Ryan, and my daughter handed the phone to me. It was a recruiter. I told her Ryan passed away, she felt bad, and said she wouldn't call again. I hung up, and we all sat there and cried. But those times are less frequent.

I've been asked why I'm no longer blogging. I am, albeit infrequently. I'm also spending time on Facebook. My blog is a general blog, meant to give a personal outlet. I no longer blog about my bipolar disorder, the sharing of that part of my life is gone with Ryan. I have moved on. I'm not removing this blog, or our BipolarSupport.blogspot.com blog. I'm leaving them up as a reminder to me of how much things have changed, and as a reminder of yet another chapter in my life that is read and done.

Here's a favorite family picture from either 1995 or 1996. Ryan is sitting next to my wife, posing, as he did for every picture we took of him: