Saturday, September 29, 2007

Saturday Shorts

I wonder at times why I keep this blog, I haven't had the time to do it justice. I hope when my mind cycle changes, I'll be back posting more. I only have so many words in my head, and all of my bipolar disorder posting has been on the BipolarConnect site.

My mixed episode is mostly gone. My mania is fading, but my depression is hanging in there, although not as bad as before.

I had a scary episode the other night, an accidental almost-overdose of ambien. I was so manic I couldn't slow down my racing mind and sleep, so I took an ambien. One didn't work, so I took another. That didn't work, so... Before long I was WAY past impaired into comatose hallucinations. Very scary. The funny part, I KNOW better, but after that second ambien it didn't matter - my judgement was gone and all that mattered was sleep. I actually blogged while I was in that condition, I unpublished it and saved it as a draft the next morning. I may re-publish that one of these days, it's a disturbing testament to that mistake (and actually kind of humorous looking at it now).

The reason I was blogging the other night when I had the ambien issue was to say I have changed my blogroll service. I was using blogrolling, I am now using bloglines. Blogrolling was experiencing a lot of downtime and slow response. For those who are still maintaining their own link list, bloglines or blogrolling is SO much better. You can put a button on your browser toolbar and add a blog to your link list with a single click. One thing, though, Bloglines only supports blogs that have feeds. Blogger has feeds, but not everyone has them enabled. So if I can't access a feed, I can't link to your blog. My apologies to those impacted, it certainly wasn't by choice.

Since I've been using Bloglines, I realize that the blog feeds site I built and maintain isn't necessary at all. Bloglines does the same thing and so much more. For example, here are my feeds:
And those feeds pull into a simple link list (or lists) that I pull into my blog using a single line of code, which they provide. I haven't decided yet what I'm going to do with the site. I'm open to suggestions...

Kyle is hanging in there, but I think the blog world may be too intimidating. We'll see if he wants to continue.

I was watching Bassmasters, a fishing show on TV earlier today. I love watching fishing shows, I could have made it as a professional fisherman had life been different. No complaints, life's pretty darn good right now. But anyway... These fishermen are bringing in fish, and they're shouting...
"Oh yeah! A good one!" "Bring it home!" "Come to daddy!" "I like 'em big!" "Oh baby, you're a fighter!" "I love it!" "Ooh, she bit that worm so soft." "They want it fast today." "Stay down, don't jump!"
My wife stops, listens for a second, and says "Are you watching porn?"

Thanks to those who continue to check in regularly, and for those who read and comment on the BipolarConnect site.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mixed Episode

How is it that you can be depressed, yet have a mind moving at the speed of light, and a body that is so full of nervous energy it can't stop moving? I hate these "mixed episodes".

Medicaid Changes Could Cripple Community Mental Health

Just received this email alert from the Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law.

Comments Needed on Revised Medicaid Rules
Changes Could Cripple Community Mental Health

August 20, 2007--Changes in the rules proposed by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid (CMS) to govern Medicaid’s rehabilitation service category could restrict access to intensive community mental health services needed by children and adults with disabilities who rely on Medicaid for their healthcare. (See the Bazelon Center’s August 16th Information Alert.) The proposed regulations were published in the Federal Register on August 13, 2007 (Vol. 72, No. 155, 45201-45213).

As the single most significant source of financing for the public mental health system, Medicaid provides needed access to community-based care through the rehabilitative services option to help children and adults avoid institutionalization. The new rules could also have a profound effect on Medicaid services needed by other vulnerable populations, including people with physical and developmental disabilities.
Stakeholders’ Comments Can Make a Difference

If final regulations as later promulgated include many of the proposed changes, they will have a devastating affect on the availability of vital services, potentially crippling the community mental health service delivery system. A high volume of comments is often influential, so it is vital that CMS hear from large numbers of consumers, advocates, providers and other stakeholders about the threats posed by the proposed rules.
What You Can Do
Send your comments to CMS by the October 12, 2007 deadline. This is a critical opportunity to call upon CMS to make changes in a number of key areas and to influence the final rules. All public comments will be considered.

See sample comments and details on how to submit yours in the full text of this Action Alert at

Monday, September 17, 2007

Template Question

Hey All - I'm worried about this site loading slowly. I love the template, but it seems to be loading so slowly. Does it load slowly for others, compared with other blogs out there?

If It's Not Broken (Op Ed)

If it's not broken, - Viewpoint

Came across this, it's from an Illinois State University student newspaper. It rankled me. You would think college journalists would be a little less "simplistic". Someone who didn't give a shit had a deadline to meet.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

My Son's Bedroom

First of all, my family is not the neatest in the world. My kids could not keep a clean room if their life depended on it. My wife is oblivious to it, but it bothers me. In the past I spent a lot of time upset about messy rooms, and the house in general. No matter how mad I got, it just didn't make much difference. I guess if it's not a "united front" about something like that, the kids just aren't going to do it. Over time I realized that I could spend a lot of time getting upset at my family, having them upset at me, and making little difference in the messiness, or I could learn to live with it. So while it's not easy and I can't live with everything, I've learned to live with messiness, and I tend to overlook messy bedrooms. In a family of messy bedrooms, my 20 year old son has the messiest. It's truly awful, you walk in and kick a path open as you go. I just take a deep breath, count to 10, and walk past his door.

We'd been experiencing some outage on our cable internet lately, so they sent out a service tech to check our lines. We were chatting as he was working, he was a nice guy. He told me he thought he'd been to our house on a service call before. I didn't remember, but he kept talking saying he thought we were one of his first service calls over 3 years ago. He remembered because of the way they wired our house. All checked out OK, so he asked to see our cable modem. I gulped, because the modem is in my son's room. I told him I wasn't expecting this, that they were supposed to check outside lines only. He was insistent, so I told him the modem was in my son's room, and his room was not in the best condition. He laughed, and said he'd probably seen worse. So I opened the bedroom door, he looked in and said softly...

"Oh yeah - I remember this."

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Kyle's New Blog

Hey all - my son Kyle has started a blog.

Manic Repressive

He goes by the name "Stretch" and is starting by posting an autobiography he was assigned in a counseling session.

Stop by, leave him a comment, and let him feel the love of this community.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Question Of The Day

I've been thinking lately (very dangerous), and wondering if there are people, scenarios, or manifestations of bipolar disorder that are best left un-medicated?

Friday, September 07, 2007

Bush Negotiating With Big Pharma

From cartoon creator Mike Adams at

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

How Best to Treat Preschoolers With ADHD?

How Best to Treat Preschoolers With ADHD? The Harvard Mental Health Letter Discusses the Options

Preschoolers? 3 to 5 years old, being diagnosed with ADHD, and treated with Ritalin? How do they get an accurate diagnosis on a 3 year old? And is anyone else scared to death with the thought of prescribing psych medications to a 3 year old?

Ripped From The Headlines

Another visit to the wonderful world of psych headlines.

Pregnancy and Birth Spur Anxiety Dreams in Mom
What? Giving birth could be a cause of anxiety?

PETA Calls for Ban on Owning Animals, Psychiatric Intervention if Alleged Animal Abusers, Killers Are Convicted
Psychiatric intervention? PETA members are LONG overdue for their own "psychiatric intervention".

Children stressed about starting school
Ya think?

Tropical Depression Moving Away From Fla.
I would imagine moving from Florida to, say, North Dakota might cure "tropical depression". (Rimshot!)

Cannibal suspect in psychiatric care
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Psychological Torture and the Bush Administration
Oh, this headline provides an endless source of material. Suffice it to say that the Bush administration is "psychological torture" to ALL of us.

And the award for the most inane headline of the day goes to...
Late-Night Teen Cell Phone Use a Threat to Sleep

Siamese Twins

From cartoon creator Mike Adams courtesy of

Monday, September 03, 2007

It Was The Mania Talking

Hey all, I feel bad for having made my last post. My manifestation of bipolar disorder is different than many, and maybe most others. I lean to the hypomanic and manic side. I often feel like I can do anything, and I'll tear your head off if you try and tell me differently. I can't, of course, and it's a symptom of my disorder that I feel I can.

So have some patience with my outbursts, for the past few months things have been somewhat rough. I try to post more, and end up offending people when I do.

Joey's Triumph Over Bipolar Disorder Is Remarkable: Psychiatrist

Joey's triumph over bipolar disorder is remarkable: psychiatrist

A little background here.

Andrew "Joey" Johns is a rugby legend in Australia, one of the best to ever play the game, and a national hero in that country. On a recent trip to Europe, they lost his luggage containing his medication, and he went 6 days without it. This, understandably, sent him into a mania, resulting in an alcohol binge, and arrest for drug possession.

But the reason for this post, is a quote by his psychiatrist:

Andrew Johns' psychiatrist says he has been astounded at his ability to perform while suffering bipolar disorder and taking drugs to treat the condition...

..."I think when the story comes out that Andrew did these things with the bipolar condition – was able to reach the height of sporting success and was able to do it on medication - I think that’s a very positive aspect" he said.

Now this pisses me off. I have NEVER felt there was something I couldn't do because of bipolar disorder. I watch for triggers and try to be cognizant of potential problems, but I have never felt limited by this condition. If it's important to me, I'll figure out a way to accomplish it. Period.


1. Do people out there feel limited by this condition?
2. If limited, is it a factor of the disorder itself? Or of the meds used to treat the disorder?
3. Is this post a function of my current hypomanic / potentially manic frame of mind? Will I feel the same way after I crash?