My Son's Bedroom

First of all, my family is not the neatest in the world. My kids could not keep a clean room if their life depended on it. My wife is oblivious to it, but it bothers me. In the past I spent a lot of time upset about messy rooms, and the house in general. No matter how mad I got, it just didn't make much difference. I guess if it's not a "united front" about something like that, the kids just aren't going to do it. Over time I realized that I could spend a lot of time getting upset at my family, having them upset at me, and making little difference in the messiness, or I could learn to live with it. So while it's not easy and I can't live with everything, I've learned to live with messiness, and I tend to overlook messy bedrooms. In a family of messy bedrooms, my 20 year old son has the messiest. It's truly awful, you walk in and kick a path open as you go. I just take a deep breath, count to 10, and walk past his door.

We'd been experiencing some outage on our cable internet lately, so they sent out a service tech to check our lines. We were chatting as he was working, he was a nice guy. He told me he thought he'd been to our house on a service call before. I didn't remember, but he kept talking saying he thought we were one of his first service calls over 3 years ago. He remembered because of the way they wired our house. All checked out OK, so he asked to see our cable modem. I gulped, because the modem is in my son's room. I told him I wasn't expecting this, that they were supposed to check outside lines only. He was insistent, so I told him the modem was in my son's room, and his room was not in the best condition. He laughed, and said he'd probably seen worse. So I opened the bedroom door, he looked in and said softly...

"Oh yeah - I remember this."

Bush Negotiating With Big Pharma

From cartoon creator Mike Adams at NewsTarget.com:

Ripped From The Headlines

Another visit to the wonderful world of psych headlines.

Pregnancy and Birth Spur Anxiety Dreams in Mom
What? Giving birth could be a cause of anxiety?

PETA Calls for Ban on Owning Animals, Psychiatric Intervention if Alleged Animal Abusers, Killers Are Convicted
Psychiatric intervention? PETA members are LONG overdue for their own "psychiatric intervention".

Children stressed about starting school
Ya think?

Tropical Depression Moving Away From Fla.
I would imagine moving from Florida to, say, North Dakota might cure "tropical depression". (Rimshot!)

Cannibal suspect in psychiatric care
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti."

Psychological Torture and the Bush Administration
Oh, this headline provides an endless source of material. Suffice it to say that the Bush administration is "psychological torture" to ALL of us.

And the award for the most inane headline of the day goes to...
Late-Night Teen Cell Phone Use a Threat to Sleep

Siamese Twins

From cartoon creator Mike Adams courtesy of NewsTarget.com

Psych News Headlines

It's been a while since I've perused the world of Psych headlines, and I needed a good laugh today. So here we go...

Facial Expressions May Confuse

A new Northwestern University study of electrical activity in the brain supports this ibelief confirming that deciphering the facial expressions of a person who is trying to conceal fear or other emotions is tricky business.

Ah yes, a well funded study that confirms what every married man knows - when you think you've read her correctly, you're usually wrong.


Breast Implants and Suicide

A recent study suggests the risk of suicide is tripled for women who have undergone cosmetic breast implant surgery.

C'mon - is this trying to tell us that implants really aren't the key to true happiness?


A Mouth Full Of Stress

Experts in the field of periodontology have discovered a strong association between stress and poor oral health.

Smile, and show those pearly whites!


How Women Perceive Men
Do we REALLY want to know?


Hostility Puts Men's Hearts at Risk

Ten years of frequent hostility and depression may harm men's immune systems and put them at risk for heart disease, a U.S. study found.

So it's not a stereotype, the high-strung, hostile men really are at higher risk for heart attack? How much did this study cost?

Great Week

The last week or so has been pretty decent. Not perfect, mind you, I've been bouncing around like that stereotypical yo yo. Yesterday's rant about pay-for-blogging illustrates the mania just under the surface. Which is funny, as my energy level is pretty low right now, so I would be expecting depression before mania. But they are more closely related, at least for me, than others would imagine.

Speaking about pay-for-blogging, I have decided to go a different route for my blog. Instead of ad words, or those services that you have to actually write about (Refinances - everyone approved!), I'm going to add one of those donate buttons. You know the ones, the "blogger beggar" buttons. Mine is going to be for a donation to "The Human Fund - Money For People". Watch for it.

Last week I went with Kyle to see a show, it was a father's day gift for me. We saw a band called "Indigenous" in a smaller club setting. This is a hard-rocking blues band, and these guys tore it up. The guitar player's name is Mato, and in this style of music there hasn't been a guitar player this good since Stevie Ray Vaughan. Mato is incredible. This ranked as one of the top five shows I've ever seen.

Tomorrow night my wife, Kyle, and I go to see Robert Randolph And The Family Band. If you have never seen these guys you owe it to yourself to see them at least once before you die. There has never been a more high-energy, harder playing, talented, and fun band. Ever. At any time. Bold talk? See them and find out.

For those in the US, have an enjoyable and safe Independance Day, and don't lose sight of the reason for the holiday.

Tuesday Shorts

This is a departure, I usually do Friday Shorts. But I didn’t have much to say Friday.

Yesterday was a difficult day. First, so much excitement Sunday night with the kids home for Father’s Day, I had a hard time falling asleep. Normally half an Ambien knocks me out. But last night I was up every 45 minutes, taking half an Ambien each time. I think it was after 2 when I took my last one, and 4 or so before I finally fell asleep. I slept through my workout, and at 7:00 AM when Karen finally woke me I was really dizzy. I stumbled off to work, and finally about lunch time I was doing a little better.

Then here at work we find out a coworker was killed in a water related accident over the weekend. She was the sweetest girl, between her and her husband they had several children. A very bad atmosphere around here. Isn’t it funny that even though I didn’t know her that well, I’m still affected by it. I can’t stop myself from imagining the fear that must have been felt by her and the pain of her family.

But a positive note – Kyle has moved back in with us! We were so worried about him where he was living. One of their roommates was violent, and their next door neighbor liked to shoot up his house with a gun. The neighbor OD’d the other day, but the roommate is still as violent as ever. I’m glad they’re out of that environment. Kyle now has computer access again at our house, so he will probably be reading this. Leave a comment and say hello to him!

Speaking of Kyle, he gave me a Father’s Day card that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in years. A very large man standing in sand, water behind him. He’s holding a huge fish. No caption on the front, but you open the card and it says…
“I was looking for an appropriately sentimental card, but kept coming back to the fat guy holding the big fish. Happy Fathers Day!”

I received a call this morning to set up an interview for a job I applied for last week. I’m a little surprised, the first interview is with the HR person and an executive VP. Granted, it’s a smaller organization, but they must really be motivated to bring in a VP on the initial interview. I’m going to need to swing by the Bipolar and Me blog for a refresher. Kansas Sunflower is a professional recruiter by trade. In amongst the other stuff on her blog, she has some great tips for job hunters.

Well, back to work. I’m going to have to really work at stability for the next few days. I’m out of my routine, I missed workouts the last 2 days, I’ve been sleeping very little, then the tragedy at work. This scenario has depression written all over it.

Friday Shorts

Mom, Interrupted at Mercurial Mind Bipolar Blog talks about forecasting a mood swing by our voice and tone. She hit the nail on the head, based on this a change is coming for me. My wife mentioned it to me last night, I’ve been mouthy and sarcastic. Stay tuned, let’s see where this leads…

On a related note, I’ve left some biting and sarcastic comments on some of your blogs. They are not meant to be critical to the blogger who made the post, sorry if they sound that way.

We bought a new bike for my wife the other day. A very nice fitness/hybrid bike by Gary Fisher/Trek. She’s excited to ride, and it looks like she’ll be able to keep up with us now. For anyone who likes to bike, the difference between a Wal-Mart bike and a bike shop bike is HUGE.

Does anyone know if it’s possible to dynamically order a blogroll by clicks or popularity? Now that I ask this, I hear txandi saying "blog tweaks: as addictive as crystal meth."

I was listening to NPR the other day, actually, I listen to NPR every day, but the other day I heard an interview with a guy that wrote a book about understanding philosophy through jokes. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Things like:
"3 ladies were sitting on a park bench. The first lady says "oy!" The second lady says "oy!" The third lady says "enough about the children already."
Or:
"The invisible man walks into a doctor’s office without an appointment. The nurse says ‘The doctor can’t see you now’"
I’ll let you know if the book is as good as I think it will be.

Everyone have a great weekend!

In The News

I don’t like to get political on this blog, but today's headlines are just too inviting. I’m not going to publish a stance one way or another, but I may comment:

Obama’s My Space Controversy

US Soldiers Can’t Blog or Email Without Approval
"Mother Hen, this is the rooster. I am in the sandbox. I repeat..."

Joan Baez Banned By Walter Reed Hospital
Who says the public has a short memory?

FDA Seeks Anti Depressant Warning
We’ve known it was coming…

Vatican Calls Comedian's Verbal Attack On Pope 'Terrorism'
This Italian comedian will REALLY be heckled.

Rally Ends With Clash Between Marchers, Police

"There is evidence that officers knocked reporters to the ground, used batons on photographers and damaged cameras, possibly motivated by anger over journalists photographing efforts by officers to control the movements of marchers," an RTNA (Radio and Television News Association of Southern California) statement said.

And video.

HD-DVD Key Posted - Digg Readers in Full Riot Over Pulled Story

"Digg deleted my hard drive for posting the HD-DVD KEY! Now my hard drive refuses to write in binary. I get Error Code: 09-F9-11-02-9D-74-E3-5B-D8-41-56-C5-63-56-88-C0 . Oh, noz."

Friday Shorts

My current hypomania has hit critical mass. I’m getting in great, intense, workouts, but I can’t sleep unmedicated. I’m hoping things are on the downward slide just a bit. I just hope it doesn’t go too far or too fast.

I am continuing to work on the LivingBipolar page. I love working on stuff like that, if feeds so many needs in me. Creativity, technical thinking, research, and so forth. I’ve expanded it to include news feeds and resources. I’ll be adding a link library next. Is there anything else that would make it more useful?

Kyle will be moving back in with us. I’ve just written a column about this at BipolarConnect, but it will take a week or so for them to print it. You can subscribe to my posts if you take a moment and create an account. It will be great to have him home, but I’m nervous about it. We’ve butted heads terribly in the past.

All my life I just assumed I’d never hit 65 years, thinking with my lifestyle I’d heart attack early. Now I have every intention of being active into my eighties. A book that I’d almost call life-changing is called "Younger Next Year" by Chris Crowley and Henry S. Lodge. There is a men’s and women’s version of the book. If you need motivation to get your exercise and fitness regime going, this is the book. My workouts are working, I’ve lost 20 pounds, gained size and strength, and ran 4 miles Wednesday morning. Those of us in the bipolar disorder community have to be SO careful. Our meds, while necessary for our ability to live semi-normal lives, can also exact a price. This helps counteract that price.

Did anyone watch "The Office" last night? Could there be a funnier show? A disgruntled employee sabotaged an entire shipment of paper by putting on a watermark of 2 cartoon characters in an obscene act. This paper shipped to businesses, schools, and other organizations. One of the funniest episodes ever.

I hope everyone had a great week, and will have an even better weekend!

Google's Free Broadband Internet

Today, April 1, Google announced their new, FREE, broadband internet access.

Go here - http://www.google.com/tisp/ for more information.

Friday Shorts

Every time I mention my son Kyle, I feel the need to say "my 22 year old bipolar son". Well, it’s time I stop saying that. He’s a pretty special kid, and I don’t want to define him in this manner. I don’t like being defined that way myself. Of course, I’m guilty of putting myself in that box…

My wife talked to Kyle’s girlfriend tonight. They have a good relationship, my wife has a good relationship with everyone. Just be a real person and you’ll connect with my wife. But neither of them has heard from Kyle for a while, and they commiserated a bit. My wife got off the phone in tears, and said to me "I miss him". I do too. With a little luck he’ll be back around this weekend. The times he disappears are nerve-wracking.

Because it’s a "bipolar" blog, we come to the requisite "frame of mind" part. I’m cycling very rapidly, and I hate it. Fighting depression last night, I was manic yesterday. Right now I’m an even-keeled "blah". I’m bouncing liked a yo-yo. I come home from work, look around the house and the yard and get so overwhelmed by everything that has to be done I can’t handle it. At least I’m handling my heavy load at work OK.

My youngest daughter, Sweetness, has been having nightmares. She is dreaming her new pet bunny "Lilly" dies. She wakes up just sobbing. You should see her with that bunny. She reads to the bunny every day, plays with her all the time, and is really enjoying her. I have to admit that animal is very loving. She’ll jump into my wife’s lap and nuzzle her arm until she’s petted. I’ll take some pictures and post them.

Is society getting more polite, or am I looking old? I’m referred to as "sir" more and more often these days. Maybe it’s the salt and pepper hair, but whatever it is, I don’t like it. My grandfather was "Sir". I’m Jon. Oh well, I might as well get used to it, I’m not getting any younger.

Went to the doc today. After waking up very dizzy, and having pain behind my eyes the last few days I suspected a sinus infection. They didn’t think so, and wrote me scripts for anti-vertigo medication, and an anti-biotic "just in case". But the point of this, they took my blood pressure. I’ve always had high blood pressure, ever since I was in my teens. Never quite so bad they’d force me on medication, but high. Well, they took my bp today: 108 over 78. "Sir" my ass.

Now from the "too much information" category: At the gym locker room the other day, an overweight, balding, 50 + man was standing there with a hair brush blow-drying his pubes. I wasn’t sure whether to be nauseated or amused. I chose amused.

I’ll close with some introspection: In another 40 years (I’m pretty optimistic these days), am I going to be glad I embraced the pharmacological method of treating this disorder? Will the decreased motivation, semi-significant memory loss, lower sexual drive, and diminished creativity be offset by my family’s increased happiness and quality of life? As of now, I think so.

In the words of the immortal Sgt Esterhaus, "Let’s be careful out there".

Friday Shorts

The BipolarConnect redesign is done. Check it out! Leave me comments on my blog there, which can be found here, under the name GJ Gregory. Don't hesitate to create a profile and share your stories.

Big blizzard yesterday, our city’s worst in a decade. We got between 12 and 15 inches at my house. I have a medium sized snowblower, and the snow was just too deep for it. The wife and I half shoveled, half “snowblowed” my drive and walks. It took almost all afternoon. I went to the gym at about 6:00 AM, and there was an inch of snow on the ground. It’s only 5 minutes away, but in that 5 minutes the blizzard blew in and I was in a white-out. I made it there, worked out, and when I left there was 7 or 8 inches of snow. I was there less than 2 hours. The streets were like parking lots on every hill, the cars could not make it up the hills. I finally made it to a retail area on some higher ground, and went into an Office Depot store where I know the managers. I hung out for a couple hours until they had time to push the stuck cars out of the roads, then I plowed my way into work. Worked for a few hours, and plowed my way home. I never got stuck until I was turning into my driveway, and got stuck in the street. On my way to work this morning, there are cars off the road all over, even some still stuck in the roads. Those poor cars have snow plowed around them, they’ll have a lot of digging to free themselves. It could be worse though, I could be in the southern US, like Alabama or Georgia. I hope all my friends down there came through their storms unscathed.

Let’s see – Kyle called yesterday, I haven’t heard from him in a few weeks. He is considering a local program that will help him get assistance. The only problem is the program insists on homeless documentation. That means he has to be in a shelter, and he’d probably be there for 6 to 8 weeks. I’ve written about it on my BipolarConnect blog. They haven’t published it yet, and per my contract I can’t double-post. But I’ll post a link when they do publish it.

My kids are so funny at times. At different times Wednesday evening both of my girls grabbed a handful of ice and threw it out onto the deck. They claim it is good luck for getting school cancelled. Also if they wear their pajamas and everything else backwards they think it helps. Well it worked, school cancelled Thursday and today.

On a lighter note: Did you know there are several stages of marital “relations”? There is the newlywed stage – insatiable, anytime, anywhere, constantly. Then after a year or two that settles into the hot stage – not as often but very hot and intense. As middle age approaches, things slide into the “special events” stage. Birthdays, anniversaries, valentines day, and other special days. As people get older, things often move into the “oral sex” stage. Yes, believe it or not, oral sex is VERY common among middle aged and older couples. You know what I mean, you pass your partner in the hallway and mutter “screw you”.

I hope everyone out there has a great weekend.

Study Suggests Vasectomy-Dementia Link

Study Suggests Vasectomy-Dementia Link:

Having a vasectomy may increase a man's risk of developing a rare form of dementiadementia, early research suggests, although more study is needed to confirm the finding.

Weintraub theorized that vasectomy may raise the risk of the rare dementias by breaching the protective barrier between the bloodstream and the testes.

When that barrier is broken, as occurs with vasectomy, sperm become exposed to the bloodstream. In response, many men who have had the surgery produce antisperm antibodies.

These antibodies may affect the brain, causing damage which can lead to dementia.

"...I would hope that men would not be frightened by this study, which is very preliminary," says Sharlip.

Frightened? It was one of the most terrifying events of my life, and my wife and friends just laughed at me. Well, I'll show them, I'll get dementia to spite them.

Actually, my vasectomy was pretty easy, although there was one funny thing. I'm on the cold stainless steel table, my guy taped off to my stomach to keep it out of the way, and the doc announced that he'd have a student assist and observe. Yep, you guessed it, in walks a Dr. that looks like Izzy Stevens (from Gray's Anatomy). I burst out laughing, and said "I'd like to say I'm glad to meet you, but..." and we all had a laugh. It was a funny ice-breaker.

Friday Shorts

Not much to say today. Physically and mentally I feel great – as good as I have for years. But emotionally I’m a little shell-shocked. So pardon me if I don’t make it around to read and comment all your blogs for a day or 2, I’m worried about triggering something I’d rather not live with.

I haven’t heard from Kyle for over a week, but I’m not particularly worried. We’d hear if he was in trouble, and I think he’s feeling self-conscious about not working. This is too bad, because I REALLY enjoy his company, working or not.

It’s boring for everyone when I keep talking about working out, but I can’t say enough about the HUGE benefit it’s bringing to my mental health and frame of mind. I knew there would be a difference, but I never imagined it would be this significant.

Michael Vick, the Atlanta Falcons quarterback, was recently arrested for trying to smuggle marijuana through airport security. Here is an SNL video that is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Don’t worry, you don’t have to be a football fan to appreciate it:
SNL Michael Vick clip.

I have a new post up on my Bipolar Connect blog. It’s one of those "you know you have bipolar disorder if…" type of things. It’s all original, I didn’t steal it off the internet, knowingly anyway. If you like it, leave a comment.

I’m a HUGE NPR fan, and Juan Williams from NPR did an excellent interview with President Bush. Whenever Bush opens his mouth you want to cringe, but take a look at this paragraph:

The Iranian people have got to know that this government and the United States bears no hostility to them. We're just deeply concerned about a government that is insisting upon having a nuclear weapon, and at the same time, rewriting history – the history of the past, and regards, for example, the Holocaust. It troubles a lot of people in this world, and I'll continue to work with, you know, friends and allies to send a clear message.

It’s just so typical, you can understand what he’s trying to convey, but he’s just not making it happen. How about this "Bushism" from above: "…rewriting history – the history of the past…"
Find the complete transcript of the interview here.

Did anyone catch the Law and Order episode from a while back? It dealt, none too sympathetically, with bipolar disorder. They talked about someone overdosing on "Depaquel".
Update: Due to all those landing on this post by Googling "Depaquel", it should be pointed out that Depaquel is a TV invention. Thus, my tongue-in-cheek reference. The name most likely comes from a contraction of the words Seroquel and Depakote, both legitimate medications used to treat bipolar disorder.

Well, for having little to write about, I managed to stretch this out. Everyone have a GREAT weekend!

Friday Shorts

Friday Shorts:

I’ve been asked several times if I have a business relationship with the new Revolution Health site that just launched. I know I plugged them pretty good, but that is because of the social aspect. I DO NOT have any kind of business relationship with Revolution Health. I DO have a business relationship with BipolarConnect, part of the Health Central Network, and my “blog” can be found here. They’re good folks over at HealthCentral, and they have a very informative site. If you get over there, make sure and leave a comment!

From The Best of Craig’s List - half a box of condoms - w4m

It is a beautiful sunny Sunday, and my relationship status is such that I am cleaning out my sock drawer. I get to the bottom, and discover 5 blue, foil squares. Ah...old friends, I remember you well. The optimism of buying a box of 12. The butterflies in the stomach on the night of your unveiling. And now you sit abandoned. And, it turns out, soon to expire. I'm a frugal sort. I hate wasting anything. So now I've got a timeline for final deployment: Nov 2006. I'm very task oriented--I love working against a deadline.

On the family front:
My wife is kicking my tail in cardio workouts. From not being able to keep up with me on summer walks and bike rides, she now climbs on a treadmill and runs for 30 minutes. I can’t come CLOSE to that. I can do 5 minutes of running and have to walk for a while. In a 30 minute cardio workout I can run for a total of about 15 minutes, and brisk walk the rest. But on the weight training, I’m making GREAT progress. I see improvement weekly.

My oldest is still job hunting for a writing position. He’s freelance writing, and publishing articles. That steady paycheck is still eluding him, though. He’ll find a permanent position soon, he’s very talented.

Kyle let his job go. He can hold a job for a few months, then a mania sets in and he has to walk away. I feel so sorry for him, his self esteem takes such a hit when that happens. We try to tell him it’s part of his bipolar disorder, but he still feels like a failure. I’d really like him to agree to seek help, we have a place in town that has a day program and can get him the treatment he needs. Once he gets on the right med regime, the stability will settle in and he’ll be able to work again.

The other kids are fine, 19 year old is doing well in school, 11 year old did well in a recent city-wide spelling bee, and the youngest is healing perfectly from her broken arm. Speaking of spelling bees, see the movie Akeelah And The Bee with your kids if you have kids at home, or by yourself if you just want a great feel-good movie.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Everyone have a GREAT weekend!

Psych Central Headlines

Was reading headlines from PsychCentral, and for some reason they hit my warped sense of humor this morning.

Marital Bliss Calms Stress
Well duh! Is there anything or anybody that can cause you more stress than your spouse?

1st-time Moms at Risk for Mental Disorders
Just think – some research spent thousands of dollars of grant money on this. Is there a mom in the world who didn’t suffer anxiety, depression, irritability, mood swings, and much more upon the birth of their first child?

More Educated, More Memory Loss When Old
This makes me laugh. Doesn’t it stand to reason that the less educated have less to lose?

Procrastination Research Finally Finished
I think I’ll actually read this article tomorrow.

Women with Migraines at Risk for Depression
Have you ever had a migraine? It's enough to make you pray for decapitation.

Youngest Drinkers at Risk When Adults
This is kind of a no-brainer isn't it? If a kid starts drinking at 14, he's bound to have issues as an adult.