Saturday, January 19, 2008

Still Around

Hey All - Mark asked what was going on, and I realized how few times I'd posted recently.

Most of my posting is being done at the BipolarConnect site. Lately I haven't even been able to manage regular posting over there.

The bipolar paradox. In order to live in the normal world, we need medication. But what originally drew our spouses, significant others, friends and other normies to us is our bipolar personality. We medicate to keep them happy, and we turn into something not as desirable. If we don't medicate we eventually lose them anyway. The same with writing - I began writing because I could express myself, and I was prolific. Both qualities are fading away as my mental stability is being achieved.

Bottom line, I'm less prolific every day. My contract says my posts can't go to both blogs, and I'm down to a handful of viable words I can write every day. The bipolar paradox.

6 comments:

sara said...

In my best med state, I was prolific almost like hypomania all the time. That was great. But coming to an end due to side effects.

I also have a habit of quitting meds right before I need to be really sharp. I get about 2 weeks of hypomania right when I do that, and then I crash, and start taking them again.

su1 said...

So, would you say the Lithium add-on is worth doing? I wonder if it would be better to go up on the Lamotrigine instead (what dose are you at now? I'm at 200 mg).

Zyprexa/Prozac combo is another good maintenance option, according to local research (they augment each other, too). I take just enough Zyprexa to curb the hypomania without decreasing it altogether (also because if I take more, it just zonks me out). So it seems to be a happy medium, to some extent. Might be worth a try for you.

Take Care,
Sharon

Jim said...

Jon

I am 45 and have avoided medication until now. irecently left my wife and children and am now in a place where if ZI am not medicated i will be on the slippery slope as I can't work.

I had been prescribed antidepressants previously and had tried St johns Wort but they made me feel worse. I am often irritable and have been having manic periods. I went to my docotr and he prescriebed epilem 400mg.

Have you had experience on that drug.
I would appreciate your comments.

G.J. "Jon" Gregory said...

Sara - I understand. You fly close to the sun for a while...

Su1 - good to see you over here. The Lithium is mostly worth it for me, and Im not dissatisfied with it's results, other than living in the bipolar paragox. It sounds like you have a combo that's working for you, congrats on finding that.

Jim,
What is your diagnosis? Is it bipolar disorder? Are there other health issues at play? Are you being treated by a psychiatrist or by another physician?

Stacy said...

I totally get what you are going through. For me, I miss the deep emotions and creativity that I have when I am not medicated. It makes me question every day if the meds are worth it.

G.J. "Jon" Gregory said...

Stacy,
Good to hear from you my friend.

For me, the meds are absolutely worth it, my family's happiness is paramount. The kids are a LOT better off with the medicated me, they never knew be before. My wife and I are committed, so she'll be around no matter how much I change. But I'm not the same person she married. If we were young, there would have been a lot more stress involved.

Thanks for stopping by!