Hey all, I feel bad for having made my last post. My manifestation of bipolar disorder is different than many, and maybe most others. I lean to the hypomanic and manic side. I often feel like I can do anything, and I'll tear your head off if you try and tell me differently. I can't, of course, and it's a symptom of my disorder that I feel I can.
So have some patience with my outbursts, for the past few months things have been somewhat rough. I try to post more, and end up offending people when I do.
Monday, September 03, 2007
It Was The Mania Talking
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7 comments:
Didn't seem insensitive to me at all. I really think it's an interesting idea, one I've explored quite a bit in my head and with my doctors: is what we call bipolar one disease or several? I am convinced it is several. There are so many factors involved, but it is absolutely impossible to predict so much about the disease. When I was first diagnosed I saw a world class specialist. My initial dx was bipolar II rapid cycling. The world class doc told me I could improve but would never be cured with current meds. Eventually I was diagnosed as BPI because of all my mixed states and random minor psychotic stuff (truly it is minor).
If you read the first 6 months or so of my blog you can see that I thought I was doing something special to be functioning as I was. I'm kind of embarrassed now because I wasn't. I'm blessed/lucky/whatever to have the ability to keep going to do what I need to do. Nobody knows how, but it's not my credit.
I have spent the last 18 months learning "I can't" in therapy because a major manifestation of mania for me is doing way too much.
I got interrupted by the phone and my own mania made me forget my point, but it was something about the media representing things as "wow, bipolar? and successful?" when the person isn't nearly as bipolar as I am, much less as I have seen in my career where I've seen as bad as it gets.
My doctor told me that I am one of the most motivated patients she's ever had with the variety of illness I have. That means a lot, but I also know she's got people even sicker than I who do well.
Sorry, manic way of saying "it's all relative".
Why apologize for that post? I find what his psychiatrist said highly offensive & I am extremely bothered by the fact that that moron is in the business of psychiatry. Gee, I wonder if his patients are under-achievers. Ya think?
If anything, I can pretty much say any/all of my creative tendencies are due to being bipolar. Now they're not there because of the medicine.
Jon, personally I like challenging the status quo & going after stereotyping. I guess you can tell that I don't think you need to apologize for anything.
You take care, Jon, we all have our moments. I am just not getting back to blogging after a rough AUguest and wanted to say "hey".
*hugs*
K.
Thanks, Just Me. And I agree, it's all relative.
Jane - As always, I appreciate your common-sense approach to things. Thanks for that.
Ariadnek - Glad you're back, I was getting worried!
im going to cut to the chase: i always rant and rave and guess what? that's okay. I havent even read what you are worried about because before I could get to the bottom of it, I knew Ive already been there and done that!
honest talk and typing is what we all need, hell we are all the same. anyone who gets offended can go write their own book.
okay now I read the post you are worried about, and can safely say there was nothing offensive in it. I think if you think that's offensive, then I am toast. LOL. I rant and rave on my blog all of the time, it's a place where we can be serious, rant, have moods, etc., it's an outlet.
As fas as functioning? I work, and my 24 yr old does while in college. She packs her meds, takes DBT classes, off to campus. Has her own apartment, all of that just 18 months after suicide attempt and new dx.
I think the doctor quoted might have been trying to give a compliment, and it came out wrong. because we all know this is hard to deal with, and the meds sometimes make it worse with fatigue, weight gain, etc.
I also never pack anything on trips that I cannot live without when the plane lands, thus a backpack with clothes, meds, etc.especially meds. But I also wonder why they couldn't find emergency delivery of some meds for that guy. Oh well, live and learn, sometimes the hard way.
Thanks, Stephany. I want to state my mind and express my opinion, but sometimes feel bad about offending people when I do. Except when I'm manic...
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