Saturday, May 31, 2008

Stick A Fork In Me...

Stick a fork in me, I'm done.

Maybe.

I've hit that place where the need and desire to blog is no longer there. My former colleague, advocate John McManamy tells me this is one of the last steps in the recovery process. I suppose he's right, I really want to put this all behind me. I'm tired of having life revolve around my bipolar disorder symptoms.

Let me be clear - this is not to say I've recovered. I'll never be "recovered". But I'll never get any closer by dwelling on my disorder all day every day. This is a necessary step for me to move closer to the mainstream.

Kyle is doing well, and thanks to all who have written and asked. He's moderately stable, and his drinking seems to be diminished. But they have him on benzos for anxiety, and that worries me. It HAS helped him, but I dread the inevitable withdrawal.

I'm having a very hard time responding to emails and comments, and for this I apologize. I've received some long emails from people who are hurting, and I'm not capable of reading the entire message. If I haven't responded to you in a week or two I'm sorry, but I probably won't. My inbox is so full any older messages won't ever make it back to the top of the stack. But I still would like to hear from friends.

I've been blogging long enough to know that most serious bloggers who say goodbye are back within a month. I won't say I'll never post again, but it will be even less frequent than it is now.

Thanks to all for the support and friendship over the years.

8 comments:

Gianna said...

good luck Jon,
It was nice seeing you on my blog today...or yesterday?

I hope things go well for you.

and of course, if you do come back and post we'll be around...

i quit a few weeks ago and it lasted 8 days...i really needed to feel I was done...

not suggesting that will be what you're doing...

peace!

Not Very Anonymous Mom said...

i hope you come back, but if not i wish you and your family well. i thank you for being one of the first to welcome me into this particular family of bloggers.

Stacy said...

I'll miss you Jon:)

Jon said...

Hey All - thanks for the comments. I resurrected a personal blog I'm doing under my real name - journaling is too therapeutic for me to totally quit. But no more "being my disorder". I won't ignore biplar disorder topics, but I won't dwell on them. I've added a handful of friends to my blogroll. My traffic may never build enough to send any links to you all, but who knows...

Gianna - You probably don't know how much you've caused me to analyze my views and positions on many things. I'm proud to call you a friend.

NVAM - thanks for your kind words. We have a lot of shared experiences. You have a story to tell, and I know you're helping a lot of people. Thanks for your work in this area.

Stacy - we've experienced a lot, haven't we? I'll be around and will stop by and say hello from time to time.

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

You've been quite an inspiration to me...I'm really sorry to see you leave, yet at the same time my own blog has been dragging as I find other things in life that I'd like to focus on more. Bravo to you, and please keep in touch!

*hugs*

K.

saltedlithium said...

For whatever it's worth I totally understand. Last fall I reached a point in my recovery where it stopped making sense to only write about manic depression and its effect on my life.

So I switched to writing more about the unresolved clinical depressions, the things the manic depression kept me from dealing honestly with. And it has helped.

So, just a thought, if writing and blogging are ways for you to understand your self and your recovery, this may be an avenue worth exploring...

Marissa Miller said...

Good luck to you!

Ana said...

Jon,
First of all I'm very sorry and I know it will take a long time till you read this.
However I would like to share with you the Friendship and Share the Love awards that was given to me by a very dear person.
That's the way I've found to give you my condolences.
When you desire,please come over and receive them when you have time. You can copy the images and paste them to your side bars or posts, and feel free to share ot with your blog buddies.
You'll be in my prayers.
Yours truly,
Ana