Sunday, March 12, 2006

Concentration Issues

Lately it's been more and more difficult to concentrate. I've always suspected I'm somewhat ADD, but often think I'm somewhat martian, too. This week has been particularly difficult. I do my best work in the late afternoon / evening, which means after the work day is essentially done. Remember the line from Office Space? "I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work." It seems that way for me sometimes.

I suppose one reason is my job isn't holding my attention any more. Or is that merely a justification? I truly love to program, to sit down, block out the world, and allow my mind the luxury of unrestrained, logical, thought. It's wonderful. But these days that luxury is long gone. I'd say in a given week, I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, programming. I tell my team in India how they should program, test their programs (I HATE testing), and spend the majority of my time cleaning up issues caused by my colleagues overseas. Not that I'm complaining, my job still exists because I'm needed to handle those exact issues.

But where was I going with this? Oh yeah, concentration. (Slap myself on the forehead).

I've applied for an internal posting. Not coding, unfortunately. It's time for me to grow professionally, and step out of that comfortable box. This will be a sink-or-swim venture. I'll succeed, and move up quickly, or I'll sink like a stone and drown. It's as a single point of contact in a technical capacity. I would coordinate all technical operations - between the client and the call centers, including call routing and phone issues, between the client and sales, between the client and development, and so forth. Project management, product management, and client management. It sounds like a bitch, but it also sounds like something a bipolar personality could really sink their teeth into, doesn't it? It's sounding like a 75% chance I'll nab this one. Be that good or bad...

Another way my concentration is failing - right now I should be working on a program for a web site I'm building. I looked forward to it all day at work, and I get home and can't do it. That's life in my world.

Enough me-me-me. It's helpful, but must be incredibly boring for everyone else. I promise to try harder...

4 comments:

Sharla said...

I have now had that problem for over three years- since I started on medication. That amazing ability to zone in one something to the point of putting someing on fire with our eyeballs is no longer present! It's taken me the whole time to figure out how to deal with it, too. I am mostly a lazy person now with no motivation and so I had to do a lot of things intentionally to myself in order to force [myself] to do what I need to do. LIke, Removing the television and cellphone distractions. Taking my own money, putting it into envelopes and placing it into a Safe Depost Box. Talk about not being able to get to it easily!!

Jacqui said...

Hey - it's your blog - if you want to be all about you-you-you then you go right ahead :-)

Loved the Bill Maher's rules!

Oh & can you update my weblog address on your Living Bipolar site? It's now http://myopenfields.blogspot.com

gen said...

the internal posting that you have applied for sounds like something that you would succeed at - have faith in yourself, jon. the position that i have now requires the use of my ADHD and OCD which has been a blessing in disguise. my ability to organize 3000 lines of data in less than eight hours has made me look pretty damn good.

THANK YOU MENTAL ILLNESS!! *laugh*

Maggs said...

Office Space is my LIFE.