I'm Very Surprised

Most everyone may know this, but it really surprised me.

ANNENBERG STUDY FINDS THAT THE PRINT PRESS INACCURATELY SUGGESTS SUICIDES RISE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Suicide is a serious public health problem accounting for between .4 and .9% of the deaths in the U.S. The CDC also report that in the population at large it is the eighth leading cause of death; but among adolescents, the third leading cause. In l998, 30,551 Americans took their own lives.

In the most recent year for which detailed national data are available (1996), the chart below indicates that November and December rank the lowest in the number of daily suicides. Spring and Fall are by the far the riskiest seasons for suicides in the US. Although research indicates that suicides may increase for a brief period after New Years day, January still remains one of lowest months for suicide risk in the US.

This shows the highs in spring and fall, which many of us who suffer from seasonal depression have experienced. And while suicide at any time is a tragedy, I am surprised, and pleased, to see this information.

Times Article

I LOVE this!

The Graying of Naughty

From The NY Times:

DE’BELLA — or Debbie, as everybody calls her — decided late in life to become a porn star. This year she turned 50, time, she knew, to chase her dream.

“I love sex,” she explained, biting into a Burger King special before embarking on her scene for the day at a rented house in the San Fernando Valley. She was wearing a bright pink satin and black chiffon nightie with a matching thong and heavy makeup.

“I decided I wanted to do something different,” she said. “I’d been working behind the scenes, and my friends said: ‘Why not do movies? Have some fun, and get paid for it?’ ”

So she has. Since May, De’Bella (she did not want her real name published) has used days off from her job as an administrative assistant at a sex-related entertainment company, Platinum X, to shoot about 30 scenes, with men mostly 19 and 20 year old.

Not that I'm a porn fan, but I love that a 50 year old can be a porn star.

New Jon

Throughout the Christmas celebration, there was some ribbing of “The Old Man” (me), about “New Dad” or “New Jon”. There would be a story told about something that happened at a previous Christmas that set me off, and we’d joke “that was ‘Old Dad’”. Or my wife would tell me she was amazed something didn’t bother me, and I’d tell her it was because “New Jon” was there. And it really was a HUGE difference. The family wasn’t on eggshells worrying about setting me off. Of course they didn’t completely let their guard down, I could see a little hesitation at times, or incredulity about certain situations where I didn’t flinch. But it made for a very pleasant holiday.

I can’t begin to express how this “balance” is improving my quality of life, and that of those around me.

I Can Hear

My bipolar disorder has always leaned towards the hypomanic side. Since finally finding some stability, my wife pointed out something that she considers one of the most priceless benefits of my "recovery". I can finally hear. I can look my children in the eye, and hear what they are telling me. I have the patience to listen, and to find what they are telling me important enough to remember.

Believe me, it wasn't always this way. The past was somewhat of a maniacal blur.

Christmas List

What I want for Christmas

1. To be a better Christian
2. To be a better husband and father
3. To be a better employee
4. For my kids, I don’t care about “success”, or wealth, or possessions. I wish them nothing but good health and happiness.
5. For all my friends and peers out there, good health, peace of mind, and happiness.
6. For the religious right, and people in general, to re-discover compassion
7. For an end to our kids coming home from overseas in pieces, or worse, in boxes.
8. Wisdom for our leaders, that they may make the best decisions on our behalf
9. For the wisdom to know when things are good
10. And while I'm at it, a suitcase of small, unmarked bills would be OK, too.

Blogs and Blog Changes

I am SUCH a bipolar...

I get hypomanic, and start a project. I've got a million uncompleted projects floating around out there. I've also got a million great ideas, but no perceived ability to bring them to fruition.

I'm particularly susceptible to internet projects. Web hosting. Web design. Programming. Writing. Blogging. Here's a list of my current blogs. There's a lot more that I've abandoned:

1. This one (Living With A Purple Dog)
2. Bipolar Support was my first blog, my wife and I started it to chronicle a son's life with bipolar disorder.
3. The "blog" I have with Health Central's Bipolar Connect site isn't really a blog, as they approve all content, and comments.
4. I started a blog about being a product of the seventies. It was fun to write, but pretty useless as blogs go.
5. The X-Ring Blog. The X-Ring is a site where I store a lot of miscellaneous stuff, including a series of stories I'm trying to sell. In a previous life, the wife and I owned a bait, tackle, and archery store, and we came away with a LOT of stories. Totally broke, but with LOT'S of stories.

I started The X-Ring Blog as a creative outlet, but then lost that round of hypomania, and my creativity. I got some motivation back with my current hypomania, but I started posting things I felt passionate about, rather than what the site should represent. So I'm going to update that blog less frequently than I have, and start updating this more often, but with less focused material. If something interests me, I'm posting it, bipolar disorder theme or not.

So, let's see how long this lasts. At least through the hypomania I'm in now...

Early Christmas

Never a dull moment at home in our house.

I got home from work last night, poured myself a rum and diet Coke, and started cleaning the kitchen. With kids home from college all day, that kitchen is ALWAYS a mess. I don’t usually drink after work, but it sounded good last night. After a few minutes, my wife comes home with one of the kids.

My wife has a way of making an entrance at home. Never anywhere else, she’s absolutely not a person who craves attention, but when she gets home, you know it. She bursts into the house, my 8 year old daughter bounding up the steps ahead of her. They’re both bubbling with enthusiasm, clapping their hands and exclaiming how excited they were. My wife asked if I wanted my present right away. Before I could answer…

Another part of the “Purple Dog” contingent bursts into the house. They’ve been at another daughter’s 6th grade basketball game. 2 sons, a girlfriend, and my 11 year old daughter. They were all talking at the same time telling stories about the debacle that masqueraded as a basketball game. For the story on the basketball debacle, click here.

My wife grabs my arm and tells me we’re going someplace. I resist, telling her I’m enjoying my drink and listening to the debacle stories. Insisting, she says she’s driving, and not taking no for an answer. Irritated, I freshen my drink, and since I wasn’t driving took it with me. We drove a few minutes, and she pulled into the parking lot of a large health club a few minutes from home. Merry Christmas! she exclaimed as she pulls me inside.

I’ve been really worried about my health, and the long-term health consequences of my medication. I’m putting on weight, and I’m terrified that I’ll hit retirement and die or be incapacitated before I can enjoy it. We’ve been talking lately about buying exercise equipment or joining a health club, but there’s always other uses for the money.

When it comes to a health club, there is nothing more intimidating than that first time in the door. I joined a club once through work, and for the year I paid my fees I never once walked in that door. Well my wife pulled me in, and took me right to the membership consultant she had worked with. I’m feeling the effects of 2 tall rum and cokes, trying not to breathe on this lady, and she gives us a tour.

This place is great. It has it all, including a café with healthy foods. And the best part? Many of the people there are in no better shape than the wife and I. It was a great atmosphere. And with both of us joining, we’ll encourage each other and be more likely to stick with it.

Watch out world, I’ll be the studliest 40 plus around by the end of 2007.

Med Perfection

I never cease to be fascinated with psych meds. I have a full blown hypomania going, but my head hasn’t joined the party. For the last 2 days it’s like my body is ready to run a marathon, but my head keeps things moving at a normal pace. It’s a curious feeling. No anxiety, no irritability. No desire to self-medicate. I feel pretty good, all things considered. I suppose this means my meds are pretty close to being right.

Cool.

Checking In

Thanks to all for your comments and emails. I'm doing OK, feeling OK, and things could certainly be worse right now.

For a little more explanation on why I'm not updating this blog much, there are a couple of reasons. First, I don't like defining myself as a person with bipolar disorder. I don't want to be your bipolar friend Jon, I want to be your friend Jon.

Next, I'm getting my blogging fix a few different ways. I still have the Health Central gig, my blog is located here: http://blogs.healthcentral.com/bipolar/gjs-bipolar-blog/. It's a different environment, it's not blogging, I submit articles, they review them, and if suitable, they publish. Also, I do not have access to comments. They review comments, if suitable they publish them. If I respond to your comments, I leave my responses the same way you all leave comments. But that's all OK, it's a good organization to work for.

I've also begun blogging on a site I've had for several years, The X-Ring (http://blog.xring.us). I don't make my bipolar disorder known on that site, so while I sometimes write about mental issues, I don't acknowledge my own bipolar disorder. I've been accumulating stories for a book for several years, it will be a collection of short stories called "From The Baitshop". I publish excerpts of stories on the blog, and this helps motivate me to continue the stories.

Now a question for you all. I located a site that sells very inexpensive generic drugs without a script. I'm thinking if they are legit I can afford to pay for meds for my son Kyle out of my pocket. That way he can get stable enough to hold a job, which will give him insurance. Then he can take over himself. Here's the site I'm looking at:
http://www.life-pharmacy.com/generics/generic_lamictal.html

If anyone has experience with this, or a similar, offshore pharmacy please let me know by comment or email.