Monday, June 04, 2007

True Mania

It’s here, and I’m scared. For me, a true mania is as bad as it gets. Thoughts racing, irritability and anxiety levels through the roof, the littlest thing has me wanting to put my fist through the monitor. I’m not suicidal, but for me nothing brings on self-harm ideation like mania. I have to figure out how to relax and get back into a safe routine. Right now I want to crawl into a bottle of Seroquel and stay there until my mind slows down to a semi-normal level.

7 comments:

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Oh dude...my sympathies are with you, please let me know if there's anything I can do to help. I'm working on a healthy dose of hypomania right now, which feels all nice 'n cozy, but there's NO way I would wish myself into your shoes right now.

*hugs*

ariK

Maybelline Jones said...

What Works For Me:
-breathe deeply whenever possible.
-attempt to isolate your thoughts and concentrate on a single idea
-when depressed, sit down and watch Comedy Central
-take a bath
-let those closest help you however they can

good luck.

Mark said...

quiet long bath I do recommend

Dream Writer said...

I hope you are feeling OK...sometimes we have to figure out why we are having a dip into mania or depression...sometimes the littlest things sets us off...

Can you recall what that might be? Sometimes if we can figure out what set it off then we are able to deal with it better.

Good Luck and thinking of you!

Jon said...

Thanks all for your thoughts.

For me, it's a part of the bipolar disorder process, and it's the worst. All the relaxation techniques in the world won't work when a true mania takes hold. When the noise and the clutter and the speed and the confusion in the brain gets to the point that you feel the only cure is a lot of tequila - or a bullet. Now before anyone thinks I'm suicidal, I'm not. But the ideation when a mania rolls in allows the mind to fantasize about ways to stop the madness.

BamaGal said...

I feel for you Jon. I'm in a hypo phase myself--but won't let it get out of hand like last year. I can too easily get way out there. The only real problem I face is having all that energy and getting bored. That is when I start to make stupid decisions. I'm with you also on the relaxation methods during this phase---I can't sit still long enough---I even give up my yoga this time of year.
Just know we are here for you--and we have all BTDT---for sure.

Jon said...

Thanks for the comment, bamagal!