Friday, March 16, 2007

Friday Shorts

Kyle is my 22 year old son who also suffers from bipolar disorder. Since we paid him for cleaning our carpets over a week ago, he’s been gone. How his girlfriend puts up with it is beyond me. But we just heard rumors that one of his good “friends” had someone OD in his apartment, and is facing criminal charges over that death. We were worried that Kyle was there when it happened, but luckily, it sounds like he wasn’t. He has an appointment to make his application for General Assistance on Tuesday, hopefully we’ll be able to track him down by then.

While I know this is of no interest to anyone else, I’m excited about it so I’m going to brag. After 25 years without a serious workout regime I started working out 3 months ago. This morning I ran 3 miles! Even in the peak of my fitness, my teens, I wasn’t able to run 3 miles. I was pretty fast back then, but wasn’t a distance runner. I love to run, and I’m really fired up about this. I can’t run often, the pounding on my knees is painful, and is physically hard on someone my age. Given this I only run once a week or two, and use an elliptical trainer or bike machine most days. My goal is to run a 5 K race this spring, and it looks like I’ll make it. Also, I broke 195 on my weight! As of this morning, I was at 194.5. The weight is coming off very slowly, less than a pound a week, but it is coming off. Target weight: 185. Dream weight: 175. My weight in college: 165.

My frame of mind isn’t a lot better. I’m not really manic any more, more of a mixed episode. I’m slipping between depression and hypomania right now. At least I’m more or less free of the mania I had recently. That was awful.

The work situation is difficult, and that is contributing to my marginal frame of mind. Last summer I left a salaried job I enjoyed to move to a competitor through a consulting company. I was to be a consultant for 3 months, then if my performance was good I’d be hired on permanently. My performance was good, but right after I started the competitor announced a merger. All hiring, of course, was frozen. After the initial 3 months it’s been a series of month to month extensions. Finally they told me they’d like a 6 month contract then evaluate the situation at that time. Well, I don’t like this at all. I have to admit, as a contractor I’m making more money than I’ve ever made. BUT: My expenses are much higher. My family is not covered by insurance, and I’ve already paid several thousand dollars out of pocket for medical emergencies. I have to tell the family we can’t take a vacation this summer because the consulting company doesn’t offer vacation time. Because of medical bills I can’t make several necessary household repairs that must be done. Damn, I hate money problems, and I hate instability.

My girls have been begging for a pet. They’re in the unfortunate position of being the 4th and 5th of our kids. We’ve done the pet thing, many times in the past, many different critters, and have no desire to do it again. My youngest daughter has been writing stories about little girls and pets, not to get us to buy one, but because that’s what was in her heart. Well, through their persistence and downright cuteness, they won out. We now have a black and white bunny named "Lilly". It’s hardly left the arms of the girls since then.

Well, enough for now. I’m going to try to make it around to everyone’s blogs this weekend, hopefully my frame of mind will allow it.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!


Dream Writer said...

I hope that Kyle is OK and you touch base with him soon...I cannot imagine what you go through with him!

Congrats with the run! And great for the loss weight! It takes time..(Cough, Cough..) at our age!!

Keep going and don't stop...the end result will kick in soon...just keep exercising and eat right! It will all melt off in good time!

anonymous mom said...

good to hear you're taking care of yourself, jon... hope a relaxing weekend eases your mind.

geosmythe said...

Fantastic news about the physical fitness regime! I, too, have been on a fitness program -even though I havent lost a lot of weight - I do feel a lot better and look better as well -

Hope you hear from Kyle soon, and cool to hear about the bunny!

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

I understand the whole feeling "mixed" thing...I'm there right now in fact; it ain't easy by a long shot, and I wish you the best in pulling through it, hang in there!!!

P.S. -- when is Bipolar Connect going to publish the post you've written about Kyle?

jane said...

I'm so glad you got your girls a pet. I was the youngest of 5 & it totally sucked.

Hopefully Kyle will hear about the guy who OD'd & it will sink in somewhat. I know with Levi, hearing of stuff like that & friends going to prison have helped him want to straighten up more.

Are you in a state of agitated depression?

I am very proud of you for running and OMG for 3 months??? That is nothing short of fantastic!

Amateur Dancer said...

Congrats on the running!!!!!!!! Wow!! that is so impressive and it is such a great feeling!

I am hoping that once this leukemia gets in remission, I can get back to running. It was always a big part of my life and I know that it is such a wonderful feeling.

That is fabulous!! Yay Jon!!! :-)

hope you hear from kyle soon. i am sure that you will.

too bad i can't clone dingo dog and ship him to you...he is a great pet!

take care,

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the working out!!

BTW, you may want to check out the most recent post on my blog...

Bam said...

When I was a kid I lost my dog when I was very young, and my parents didn't want me to have any other pets. My brother and I pulled the beethoven hide a puppy thing a million times. I finally got old enough and I have two wonderful cats and take in abandonned animals temporarily now. The joy an animal brings into a house is incomparable. No matter how depressed I am, I might not be able to get up, but having my kitties always pulls me out to feed them and clean their litter. When i mope they sit on my chest purring and it helps me so much to feel better.

Jon said...

Thanks all for your comments!

DW - Kyle is OK, he was around the last couple of days. I'll post about what happened in the next day or two. Thanks for the workout support!

AM - It was a decent weekend. Kyle showed up and it was great.

Smythe - our results are the same. I feel great, but the weight loss is slow.

Ariadnek - the mixed episode isn't over yet, today it's leaning to the hypomanic side, with a couple of dips into depressed territory. I'm just riding it out. And it looks like that post was printed today - here's the URL:

Jane - the OD is one thing I didn't have a chance to talk to Kyle about. Hopefully I'll see him again later in the week. As far as being the youngest of 5, there is probably some downside, but my girls ADORE their older brothers. It's a heartwarming relationship they have.

Dancer - you'll be running again, if my thoughts and prayers have anything to do with it.

Queen - I checked your blog, but there's not much there. I've heard second hand what is going on. If it's a question of saving a life, rules and friendships potentially go out the window. Nothing takes precedence over saving a life. Period. Email me if you want to talk about it.

Bam - Thanks for the comment. All our lives we've had pets. We've had some terrible pets, but to be fair our house is so wild and crazy it could turn the best pet psycho. A few years ago the wife and I decided we'd had enough and said no more pets. Well, our daughters finally melted our hearts, and I'm glad we gave in. You should see those girls with that bunney. It's so cute!

geosmythe said...

I invite you and your wife to come join Blog Writers and Artists Network - you two would be a joy to get to know - and I think you would love it!

KansasSunflower said...

Awesome about your running, and yes, it is news to everyone! *I* can't run 3 miles, and I workout almost every day!

I'm a Recruiter, and I TOTALLY know what you're saying about being a contractor vs. employee. Sometimes they will offer med insurance as a contractor - for like...$5/hr for a family - do you not have that option? And you're right - you're going to make more money than you ever will, but you don't get paid for vacations, sick time, holidays, etc. People who insist on being contractors should listen to YOU, because that's what I keep trying to tell them.

Awesome about the pet, and that was great thinking. A rabbit over a puppy. Brilliant! :-)

It sounds like you're feeling much better now - even over your reaction and outlook about Kyle. Do you realize that? I'm so happy for you!

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Hey Jon, I finally am so impressed with how BipolarConnect has changed their setup that I've actually caved in and set up a profile there (haha), even after i bitched about 'em so much before. ;-) I even wrote a Share Post there! LOL!!!!

Jon said...

Smythe - I'd like to, but I don't have time lately to keep up on the few things I have left!

KS - Thanks for your comment! Hey - if you see an IS BA position in my town, give me a shout.

Ari - I'll look for your post. Now I just have to find more time to participate a little more over there.

Jon said...

Smythe - I'd like to, but I don't have time lately to keep up on the few things I have left!

KS - Thanks for your comment! Hey - if you see an IS BA position in my town, give me a shout.

Ari - I'll look for your post. Now I just have to find more time to participate a little more over there.

Ms Peculiar said...

thank you for always keeping up with me when I am MIA - I am so happy for you that you found a way to excersize and meet your goals.
keep on truckin

Jon said...

Ms P - Thanks!