Sunday, October 30, 2005

Last Night

Last night I stayed up late working on a program. I worked some in Java, and worked more in VB.Net. VB.Net is SO much faster, as you don't have to program each individual control. Need a button? A list box? Drag 'em in. In Java that would be MANY lines of code.

But at 1:30 this morning, I was really into this work. It was going well, my mind was engaged, and I was doing some really good work. But I decided it was time for bed.

Yeah, right.

My mind wasn't going for that, it craved the gratification it was receiving. It took me 2 hours to finally drift off. Working all night long would have been a snap. In the past, I would have medicated my mind into submission, but I'm trying to avoid this. I'm making a real effort to use this bipolar disorder to my advantage. To recognize ups and downs, harness them, and take advantage of them.

No matter what the world says, in my opinion, bipolar disorder can be a gift.


Lisa said...


At times mania can be a gift it you don't use it for self distruction. I once accomplished a project that should have taken a 4 days but staying up night and day.

This is a tough time of year for those with bipolar at least if you are in the US and live with daylight savings time. The change in time tends to set us off into a manic spin then comes the slump of deep depression.

I've lived it every year for 20 years.