First, I am adding a daily entry to Living Bipolar journaling my new Depakote use. That makes more sense than doing it here. There’s not much there yet, but give it a chance.
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Karen’s mom had a stroke a few weeks ago. She will be released from the hospital on Monday, and will be living with us. I really don’t mind this, I’ve been expecting it from the time we married. She will be a nice addition to our household. When you have as many people in the family as we do, what’s one or two more? Karen is really stressed about it, and all of a sudden I see this as being more than just an additional person under our roof. I tried to talk to Karen about this today, and she refused to discuss it. Whenever it’s a difficult topic, she’s “sick to her stomach”, or it’s “too late, and she won’t be able to sleep”, or something. Now I’m one to talk, there are things I just can’t talk about, and have left her high and dry on many things like this. But I have this sudden fear that I’ll be losing my wife as I know her today. And I’m not willing to do that. I don’t mean my wife will leave, but if she’s constantly worried about caring for her mother, or if she’s not able to relax, or if we’re not able to go out, then our relationship changes. I admit to being selfish about this, but I REALLY don’t want to lose our relationship the way it is today.
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And from the “This is just wrong” file…
Our local symphony orchestra is doing a show called “The Music of Led Zeppelin”.
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Our now 11 year old daughter has a birthday today. After watching her oldest brother struggle to pay for college, she asked for a college savings plan for her birthday. I so dearly love that girl!
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Kyle, our 21 year old bipolar son, appears poised for a free-fall. He got a job, and is making money now, which means he’s not coming home. This is not a good sign. Yesterday he called his girlfriend and asked her to pick him up from work. She talked her father into loaning her his truck, which is no small feat, as they hate Kyle. She gets there, waits a while, and discovers Kyle snuck out and left with a co-worker. That’s SO like him, he’ll do anything to avoid confrontation with her. Also, his frame of mind is questionable. We heard him the night before at 3:00 in the morning, screaming profanities at someone, saying “I fucking hate you”. His girlfriend says it was not her.
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C’mon Depakote, kick in! My nervous tics are back, and I hate this!
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Back to work…
Friday, February 24, 2006
Typical Friday Odds and Ends
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8 comments:
Jon,
Keep remaining strong. It sounds like you are doing pretty well, especially considering some of the really difficult situations that have presented themselves. You really need to make sure to continue trying to connect with your wife because you've made it really clear here that the potential changes that could be coming could mean more added challenges. Good luck, and keep up the great blogging. I hope that it is helpful, because I'm always engaged when I come by.
Best,
Jon
jon.. you're doing so great.
1) happy birthday to your daughter!
2) a local orchestra did the music of led zeppelin here a few years back. and it was actually surprisingly good. *laughing* yes, i went.
3) as for kyle.. i've been there.. and you know that.
4) my depakote actually GIVES me a tick and the shakes. i wish it would take it away! ugh!
;)
big hugs from chicago.
Jon - thanks so much for taking the time to drop a line. I do appreciate it.
Gen - I really wish I could bottle you up and feed it to Kyle. I know you have good days and bad days like we all do, but you are always positive, and always have a handle on what is happening. He has no desire to learn, he's on a wave riding it for all he's worth. The wipeout is coming, and it's not going to be pretty.
You won't lose your wife even though her mum lived with you. But it's necessary to consider and talk about the situation beforehand. So that you're prepared for it.
Thanks, Queen.
Ophelia - thanks for the encouragement. Things will be OK, I'm just selfishly wanting things to stay like they are now, I feel we're at the pinnacle of our life together so far. But things can always get better (I hope!)
Oh kyle...i wish i knew what to say! just being a dad and being there is all i know to tell you. : (
I think we share the same son in 2 different bodies. My son is now homeless all by his choice, but still, it is agonizing. I never thought of the specific sign prior to Kyle spiraling down, but Levi does that all the time. And his phone always goes 'out' so we cant get ahold of him during that time.
I think you & your wife should talk before her mom gets there & talk about things to make sure you do. Like maybe, 1 date night a week. And stick to your guns. Bless you both for caring for her mom.
Maggs - thanks for the vote of confidence. I'm not much of a father to him these days, he avoids me like the plague. I don't see him but once a week or so, and that's only when he comes upstairs to shower.
Jane - I'm so sorry about your son. As difficult as it is to live with them, it's even more difficult when they leave. And about Karen's mom, we had a chance to talk today. I told Karen my concerns, and she understands. It was a great discussion, and I feel more comfortable about things now. Although we're going to miss The Iguanas Fat Tuesday show on Tuesday. We actually get one of New Orleans most popular bands here in The Heartland to do a Fat Tuesday show! Oh well, we'll see them again next time they're in town.
Thanks all for your comments!
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