Thursday, December 15, 2005

Kyle Issues Again

Well, it's been how long? Three weeks since we've had an issue with my 21 year old son Kyle? That's as much as we can expect.

Today he had a counselling appointment. His grandmother was coming over to pick him up at 2:30 PM. Late enough for him to be a typical bipolar and stay up all night, and still get some sleep. But this morning he's not here. Grandma comes over, he's not here. Throughout the day, my wife is getting calls.

His girlfriend calls my wife, says they had a big fight. Says Kyle is off his meds. Again. He's never been able to stay on medication for more than a few weeks. She says she's done with him. I don't know if this would be good or bad, she's violent, but he listens to her.

When he's gone all night, it's because he's drinking. He called my wife this afternoon, and sounded surprised about his appointment. He knew about it, but was either drunk or stoned when he called. He was at a friend's house that is a big drug user. I don't think he has a friend that is not a heavy drinker and/or a drug user.

I get home and there's a note on his bedroom door, his girlfriend obviously walked in and left it. She asks him to either call with an explanation or call to tell her to pick up her stuff.

So here's where we stand. Kyle has broken several rules of our rooming agreement. He is welcome to live in our house forever, provided he doesn't drink, keeps his Dr appointments, and stays on his meds. He knows where he stands, and I don't think we'll see him for several days. Then he'll come back, apologetic, and make another round of promises.

It's a circle that has no end.


Mr. 12 Step said...

Sorry to hear your family is going through this right now. But, it is a familiar pattern to me.

I have a releative who caused a lot of trouble around home here a few years back. He moved to North Carolina to get away from it. He caused more trouble down there, moved back here to Ohio to escape. He got straight for about 6 months and then went right back to his old habbits. Caused more trouble and went back to NC. Got into trouble there with drugs and a stolen car, so he hooked up with a woman he met online and moved to Virginia. Lived there a couple years and caused more trouble. She divorced him and booted him out now he's living in Kansas City.

He's still up to his old tricks. He takes drugs like no one I've ever seen and is the biggest liar on the planet. The more myself and other relatives try to help him, the more he hates us.

I hope things work out for you. I hope your son gets back on his meds and takes some steps in the right direction.

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Belinda said...

Jon, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine your position--I can separate from and even divorce my BP spouse if things get unbearable, but you can't divorce your kid. Maybe Al-Anon would be beneficial? It helped me deal with many issues of bipolar disorder, such as setting boundaries, etc. It seems like, especialy with the girlfriend, Kyle is firmly in the driver's seat, and he's the one who can't drive! Her note puts him in charge, as she waits to hear from HIM what their future is--how has he earned that right?

Urgh, it's impossible. I'm just so sorry. My prayers of protection and insight for Kyle.

Jon said...

Belinda - what a great analogy about Kyle in the drivers seat but can't drive. I'd like to use that.

The wife and I go to NAMI (National Alliance On Mental Illness) meetings monthly, and take part in a support group there. It has been exceptionally helpful.